The absolutely amazing eight-armed octopus!!!

The common octopus, or Octopus vulgaris as it’s called in Latin, can grow up to 25 cm in body length, with arms reaching up to a full meter. It typically lives only 1–2 years and can weigh up to 9 kg! And already here we just have to say: wow!

I mean, how insane is it that the common octopus can grow from a tiny egg to 9 kg in just 1–2 years!?

The octopus has no less than three hearts: one in the head that pumps oxygenated blood through the body, and two smaller ones by the gills that push blood through the gills to oxygenate it. Once the blood has delivered oxygen to the body, it returns to the gill hearts and the cycle starts over.

Its heart rate doesn’t change much during activity, but it can briefly stop if the octopus experiences stress or swims rapidly. To cope with exertion, the heart simply pumps more blood per beat. It can also regulate how much oxygen it extracts from the water, depending on the available oxygen around it. Brilliant!

In fact, there are so many aspects of octopus anatomy that are fundamentally different from humans and other vertebrates, we could go on about them for hours. So now we move from the body to the octopus’s truly incredible brain.

Superbrain, mazes, and deadly dating

The octopus has an extremely advanced brain and nervous system — in fact, it has around 500 million neurons in its body, almost as many as a dog. It’s so clever that it can distinguish light from dark, navigate mazes, recognize people, learn to unscrew jar lids, and even open and empty lobster traps. Some octopuses even collect little “gardens” of algae, plants, shells, and stones — supposedly the inspiration for Ringo Starr’s Octopus’s Garden from the Beatles’ 1969 album Abbey Road. And let’s just say… not the best track on that record.

All of this — and yet it only lives for 1–2 years. That must mean its intelligence is basically innate, which is pretty far from us humans, who can hardly do more than eat and sleep when we’re born.

The common octopus is found along the coasts of Western Europe and Africa, from Denmark in the north to Senegal in the south. It’s also present in the Mediterranean, where it’s a staple in many Southern European cuisines. So far it’s been fairly rare in Denmark, known only from the southern part of the North Sea, but it’s expected to become more common due to rising ocean temperatures.

It usually hunts at dusk and prefers crabs, lobsters, and shellfish — but it’ll eat pretty much anything it can get its arms on. Naturally, it can also change color and camouflage itself, making it quite the sneaky predator. When an unsuspecting prey gets too close, it darts forward and grabs it. With its beak, it can crack open the shells of mussels and crabs, and yes — it also has venom to paralyze its prey. Nothing short of GENIUS!

But of course, it doesn’t stop there...

The octopus has many enemies. In fact, any fish large enough to swallow an octopus is a potential threat, and its soft body offers little real protection. Instead, the octopus relies on ninja-level tricks: when attacked, it shoots a cloud of ink into the face of its opponent and disappears in the cover. Naturally.

The reason the octopus only lives 1 to 2 years is reproduction. Pretty much as soon as it reaches adulthood, it starts looking for a mate. And since that can take time, lifespan varies. Once they’ve mated, the female hides her fertilized eggs in crevices and guards them until they hatch. Shortly afterward, she dies. The male dies right after mating — and as a fun side note, it’s not uncommon for the male to be eaten by the female after mating, unless he gets in a quick snack first and eats her instead. Now that’s what you’d call a risky Tinder date!

All in all, the octopus is just utterly fantastic. And it tastes great. They can be caught in ultra-gentle pots that are basically just buckets. There are even attempts at farming them, which isn’t a bad idea when you consider how fast they grow. The problem is their intelligence. Is it really okay to farm such smart animals? If you asked a pig, it’d probably say no.

We should eat lots of octopus! They’re caught sustainably, they’re super eco-friendly, and there are plenty of them! Maybe one day we’ll have many in our own waters — and that would be great, because we’ve got way too many crabs, and they’re welcome to help eat some of those!